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satan pancake
1. Don't pass out at a carnival, or you'll end up pregnant. (This one may actually apply in real life.)
2. Superman aged well.
3. Really well.
4. Kirstie Alley has one big eyebrow and one little eyebrow, and they call the bitch Biggie Smalls.
5. If you're thinking about aborting a space baby, think again, because you'll have nightmares about being dressed as some kind of ethereal Goddess floating in a purple room, listening to the cries of lots of other space babies.
6. You, madam, are no Joan Chen.
7. Mark Hamill makes a very, very scary preacher.
8. Eyedrops burn, especially if they have a red cap.
9. Wait a minute, THOSE WEREN'T EYEDROPS!
10. Even space babies need love.
11. Space babies prefer to dress like they're enrolled in some Dickensian boarding school.
12. The head space baby walks like she has some intergalactic stick up her ass.
13. That guy plays a hobo in every single John Carpenter movie.
14. I liked him better in Wishmaster.
15. Don't hit a space baby in the face with a broomstick. They really don't like that.
16. These kids could give ROTC members lessons in marching in unison.
17. Broom impalement is a heck of a way to go.
18. Encyclopedias give space babies bad ideas, especially the section on Vlad the Impaler.
19. You are not the boss of the space babies.
20. Hahahahaha she said "Super Sperm." From the CIA.
21. Super sperm...hee hee hee.
22. Didn't they use that same fake baby in House of 1000 Corpses?
23. You know, Superman could just fly around the Earth backwards and prevent this whole thing.
24. These kids definitely could use some of that "Total Transformation" program they advertise on the radio.
25. If your child's eyes glow red or green, that's a good time to get the eff out of dodge.
26. These space babies are some cold mothers.
27. Damn that girl can enunciate.
28. She doesn't pretend to read very well, though.
29. Mobs with torches and pitchforks are frigging awesome, unless they're after you.
30. Self autopsy will reveal a lot about your inner self.
31. Superman is dyn-o-mite!


thecaffeinecat wrote:
Jun. 8th, 2010 03:38 pm (UTC)
Why do I get the feeling that this play by play is a great deal more entertaining than the film in question?
perfect_beaker wrote:
Jun. 8th, 2010 03:43 pm (UTC)
Heh, well, it is in a way; this one is a bit of a stinkeroo.

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